Reality Check/Be Sensible

Due to the $1200+ downswing I find myself on, the roll has depleted to $6000.

That is currently the bottom line and no matter what way you look at it, I'm losing money consistently. I've put in a couple of decent sessions since my last post, analysed my play, thought about my game and where it sits in my future and its basically just becoming a burden now.

I did well in exams having got results on Monday so I have now been looking at planning my immediate future - the summer. Whilst doing so I obviously take into account the money I have "invested" in poker. Having gone from one extreme to the other with my thought processes I can only conclude that I wish I had jumped off the wave of euphoria some months ago, thought about it logically and made consistent withdrawals to help reduce the impact (mentally if nothing else) of variance. Withdrawing $100 for every $500 I win or something. At the end of the day, whether I were to quit tomorrow or in 5 years the end product and goal is the same - I want to earn money. I'm not investing thousands of pounds into a hobby nor segregating the money in its entirety. I was foolish in that sense and was too fixated on watching the roll grow, as opposed to thinking and acting my age. Beggars can't be choosers after all.

I don't intend to quit but I do intend to make the most of the hours, blood and sweat I have put in over the past few months. I also know at some point downswings have to end, whether that be tomorrow or on my last night of playing this summer prior to returning to university. It will end. However, I intend to reduce the roll to a certain degree and roll myself for something like $15s - allowing my AVG buy-in to remain close to the $11 as well as throwing the $22s on the euros in there.

At the end of the day I don't actually need that amount of money on there and this is where the virtual roll comes into play. I'm planning my girlfriend a pretty massive bash for her 21st, intend to spend the best part of a month in Greece in August and will then be house-hunting again come September so be forced to stump up deposits. At the same time I want to enjoy summer and use the time to see friends and chill out mainly and at some point get some more work experience under my belt. I certainly won't be working full-time and any part-time job is a mere fantasy right now. That suits me - the last two summers have been work-orientated and I am now fortunate enough to not have to worry about money in the same way as I may have done in the past.

So essentially I have gone full circle. Rather than poker take a front seat over the summer, its being pushed down the pecking order somewhat. Having a $4000 roll or something like that is perfectly sufficient for the games I play and I truly believe I can rebuild from there and be at the same level again come the end of the year. Right now, I'm 21 in 3 weeks, money will become an issue later down the line, life will become an issue down the line. All that matters now is my overall happiness and I sure as hell aint happy punting $300 down the drain night after night knowing that could be spent on family, friends, girlfriend, me, whatever.

So, bring on Tuesday, get me home, let me see my mates, let me enjoy life.

Life downwsings > poker downswings.