Waste of time. Again.

I may as well write this now, as I find myself staring down the barrel and having 1 measly table left at this fine hour.

Again, a nice little portrayal of how the night has gone is this - 30mins ago I had 5 tables left and was approaching the bubble in all. 10mins ago I had 3 tables left and was in the final 35 of all of them. After losing AA to AK and A7 to A3 for massive stacks and ultimately my tournament life, I'm now contemplating murder.

The rest of the night was a fucking waste of time as well, the examples above were as interesting as it got, basically cos I was losing flips ITM as opposed to level fucking 4.

I appreciate variance and I'm not even scraping the edges in reality. I also appreciate how well I have ran up until this point. But seriously, every time I sit down to put in a session at the moment I just lose money. I can't even be arsed to do the exact maths now but last time out I was on a downswing totalling over $600. I was in for $360 tonight and at the time of writing have 3 cashes from 30 tournaments, amounting to $65. Brilliant. Still, at least I'm cashing now. Wahey!
The roll will have depleted to the $6k mark after my withdrawal the other week also. Fortunately that's the only thing keeping me going (obviously). The timing is a real kick in the balls, coupled with how much time and energy I'm devoting to it per se. But fortunately I can just about sustain it financially, although this can't continue for too much longer. Dropping the $22s from my schedule will be a pain also, as there are far less $11s around, on the euros at least...

Shall have a serious think about it all over the next week. Right now I'm obviously massively tilted and down about a lot of other stuff anyway.

I just hope the exam results are positive tomorrow, that's a start and I can at least put that to one side.

Anyway, barring a miracle in this last tournament (28 left) its another cracking losing night, bringing a torrid week to an end! To be fair even if I ship this I don't break-even for the fortnight ($800 to 1st).

Agh poker..... C'est la vie.



EDIT:

I actually came 7th in that tournament but I'm more tilted than I was before. Having ground my way up to 2nd in chips without showdown I was feeling fairly good. The chip leader, an awful player (aren't they always) then went on life tilt having made a horrific call and losing part of his stack, giving me the chip lead. A shorty shoves the very next hand (11bbs), he then whacks in his 30+ bb stack and I happily call with AK on the BTN, having them both covered, just. The chip leader routinely rivers his J, enabling his QJ to take it over my AK and the shorty's AT. Fucking standard.

4 hands later and some moron limps in the CO, despite having <15bbs, with 22, I shove AJ for like 4bbs, hit my A on the flop only for him to river a deuce. Fucking standard.

I got $180 and a $108 tourney ticket for my trouble but whatever, may as well have busted it earlier as far as I'm concerned. Tomorrow best be good.